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Day 56:

Today I visited baby J’s infant classroom and it really hit me that I am soon going to have to give up my slower pace and long morning snuggles when I return to the office. I can’t believe I am one short week away from back to back meetings and a more frenetic pace. While I am looking forward to some aspects of returning to work, my mornings conversations with baby will be the hardest to give up. This week I plan to enjoy every single moment with the baby.

Positive Thought of the Day: My office is closed the week of Christmas, so I am a few short weeks away from a week of added quality time with the family.

Day 55:

For Black Friday we bought- absolutely nothing. I’ve been working towards simplifying life and in the words of Marie Kondo- only having items that spark joy. Over the last few weeks I’ve purged closets (twice now), drawers, boxes, and the pantry. I’ve tried to donate to those in need of items whenever possible and it’s been really satisfying to get things organized and added bonus if we can provide an item for someone . It’s not easy to keep a handle on owning excess “stuff”, especially when your mom is always bringing over things she just picked up like serving platters, skillets, random kitchenware…. But I am working towards being intentional on what gets brought in to our house and not buying things just” because we don’t have one”.

So, this year I am saying no to the air fryer/toaster oven combo, the ninja coffeemaker, the chunky Amazon sweater that keeps popping up my newsfeed, the holiday pillows and decor even though they are calling my name. We’ll see how we keep this up. My Achilles heel are books and fleece sweatshirts and I also have spent a small fortune at Zullily  since discovering the app -because, deals.

Positive Thought of the Day: Golfed with my dad for his birthday, brother, and cousin for the first time on a beautiful Texas fall day.

Day 54:

Growing up, we always celebrated a traditional Thanksgiving complete with turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and pumpkin pies- only ours also come with sides of Cambodian food.  If you aren’t familiar, Cambodian food is kind of a mix between Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, with a dash of French colonization. This Thanksgiving we hosted roughly fifty people, granted 12 of them were little people ( who either seem to eat like they aren’t fed daily or conversely not at all making planning annoying) and three don’t yet get to indulge in real food (more for the rest of us).

We went all out this Thanksgiving and our main proteins included an animal smorgasboard of 26 lb turkey, 8 lb smoked turkey, a whole pig, and three roast duck. A great day was spent with family and friends, but the real plus of hosting a Thanksgiving with my family is that there is relatively no clean-up involved because mostly everyone pitches in and also happily takes home a Tupperware or two of food.

Positive Thought of the Day: Thankful for family, friends, and abundance of love and food. Thankful that my hardest decision on Thanksgiving is whether or not I should mix Cambodian and American food on one plate!

Day 52 and 53:

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since it’s all about food, family, and football- just some of my favorite things. These last few days we were Thanksgiving prep mode. Bounce house rented to wear out the dozen children we were expecting, Costco and grocery store runs. Baby J has been a trooper through sickness and frantic house preparations.

Positive Thought of the Day: Even though my mom was supposed to be a patient this week, she watched little baby J as we finalized Thanksgiving errands.

Day 44:

I’ve always been intrigued with birth order and have been thinking a lot about the dynamics and differences in my three kids. I’m pretty much representative of first borns: reliable, conscientious, structured, achiever. #1 is my mini me and I can just say ditto to the above. #2 is fairness obsessed, the peacemaker but with her own rebellious streak. She was a middle child, even before she was a middle child. So far baby has also proven to be the most-easy going- but is it because of his nature or because of my temperament and attitude gained from experience (and also lets be honest here- exhaustion and convenience). Here are some differences between this baby and the girls.

• Activities: Life doesn’t stop since having a baby. With two older sisters this guy has had to attend his share of birthday parties, work related coffees/lunches, and countless family gatherings. I used to dread going out with baby in tow, but he’s so easy. I just pop him in the carrier and usually don’t have to worry about him at all as long as he’s fed !
• Eating: Breastfeeding with this guy has been the easiest so far. Which is funny because he is the hungriest and biggest of all ( weighing in at 13.5 lbs at his dr appt today). Although I have been open to supplementing as needed with formula or when I’m not around, he is primary breastfed just like the girls were at this age.
• Diapers: not sure if this is a gender thing, but both girls hated a dirty diaper. With #3, I don’t even know if he has dirty diaper because it’s typically not a cause for him to cry.
• Sleep: With the girls, I obsessed with trying to establish a sleep schedule and getting them to sleep through the night. I am pretty sure we didn’t get our first real full night’s rest until #2 was 2.5 YEARS old. That means we pretty much went 4 years without good sleep. Baby has been “sleeping through the night” since 3 weeks ( KNOCK ON WOOD). He is a great sleeper and napper- probably because of all the activity mentioned above.

What I’ve learned from this baby is that you can prepare and overthink it all, but every baby is different. It’s some nature and some nurture, but I believe having an open mind and being adaptable are key in parenting.

Positive Thought of the Day: A healthy and happy baby who sleeps from 9 until 5am almost every night!

Day 43:

Today’s activities included having lunch with my eldest for an early Thanksgiving lunch at school. She loves having me lunch with her at school- and while that’s the case I will do my best to join her while I can. I chased the school Thanksgiving lunch with a real lunch with another boss mama and caught up on work happenings and general adult conversation.

Positive Thought of the Day: Being able to take part in more school activities while I’m on leave. We started a grateful pumpkin activity at home and for the month of November, both girls write down one daily thing that they are grateful for on the pumpkin. A practice in gratitude and writing! Win-win!

Day 42:

Today is election day. Hopefully everyone gets out and exercises their right to vote. I hope today turns out not to be a sad day. But even more, I hope that people will be able to continue to look beyond the way one another votes and try and do more good in the world because we could all use more good. More love than hate. More kindness.

One of the major themes of my blog has been balance. We need more women, more diversity, and checks and balance in our government. Today we can make strides towards that.

Positive Thought of the Day: Unrelated to voting, but trusted neighbors that provide recommendations for handymen, house cleaners, and contractors—it really saves on time and this mama ain’t got tons of that. Also pinterest for the same reasons—not having to start from scratch on designing built-ins! Trying to squeeze in one more house project before returning to work.

Day 35:

A year ago today, I posted on facebook last October about a man on the elevator at work asking me if I was expecting. I laughed made some comment about a beer belly and vowed never to wear that dress again. The joke is on me though because two months later I found out I WAS pregnant. Here are some things that were constantly said to me that I would caution others to not say in the workplace.

1. Were you trying? Kind of personal. Best to just let the pregnant person take the lead on what they choose to share.
2.  Are you pregnant or is that a beer belly? I can’t make this up. See above. Also, I’m the only person who is allowed to call my belly a beer belly. I don’t comment on men’s beer bellies at work, and believe me I’m surrounded by more than a few.
3. You Look great.. for being x months pregnant. Just stop at you look great.
4. You look so big or you are so much bigger than so and so. Many women are insecure and hormonal about how they are looking. Especially in the early stages of pregnancy when not everyone knows they are pregnant. You don’t know what a person is going through. Best not to comment.
5. I can’t believe you are still.. [insert normal part of my job here]. I’m pregnant, not unable to perform at the same level. I don’t want any special circumstances granted. If I need to be excused from something, I’ll ask. But don’t assume that I won’t travel or participate in something just because I’m pregnant. There are better ways to word things to ensure you are being appropriately empathetic to your employees situation while respecting their ability to perform at work. 

Positive Thought of the Day: Sometimes things happen for a reason. One year later after the man’s comment in the elevator, I am happily snuggling the chilliest baby ever and enjoying a little break from a very intense work year. Although, I was shocked that someone thought I was pregnant a year ago and couldn’t fathom another child at the time, now I cannot imagine my life without the little guy.

 

 

Day 30:

Today makes the halfway point of my maternity leave and two Fridays in a row of lunch dates with strong, fellow boss moms ( and also where baby slept the entire time). Today, we celebrated a boss VP who is having a baby via a surrogate. She is a strong woman and one who inspires me to get out there and continue to propel my career without compromising myself. Excited to see her take on a new challenge of motherhood, and perhaps be able to support her on a new part of her journey.

Positive Thought of the Day: Finding friends where you least expect it. Our colleague introduced us today as friends and I haven’t really thought much about how many friends I’ve been able to find at work.  To this day, I am still close to many people I started my career with, hired or help hire, or now even work alongside or for me. When you spend many of your waking hours with people, it’s nice to be able to call some of them friends.