Category: Family

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Confidence

Day 24:

23 days in and I finally missed a day of writing. Exhaustion from all day cluster feeding, dreary weather, and not getting out of the house got to me. But after a fussy day, baby slept well and I was energized for day 24! I felt confident today, starting the day with a lunch with a friend. It was a cool fall day and we sat outside on the patio while Baby slept the entire time (this requires impeccable timing and self- imposed stress to ensure that baby will be fed, clean, and sleepy for the drive to the restaurant) so that I could enjoy a nice adult lunch conversation with another fellow boss mama. Relationships with other people in similar stages in life are so important. I always love lunch dates with this boss mama because she is so relatable and supportive. We both embrace that working mom life can be messy, but are always are striving to do better. This working mom also got a  call from the assistant principal (your heart always skips a beat when the school or daycare number pops up, amirite?) to tell her that her son redirected a negative discussion into a positive one and I got to share her proud mama moment with her.

After lunch, running some quick errands, a surprise chat with our Chief Diversity Officer who is also a working mom- I was feeling accomplished, confident, like I could do anything. So, I braved taking all three kids out on my own- my daughter was performing at a halftime high school football game as part of a fun clinic she participated in. Again, I calculated precise timing of when I needed to feed baby, pick up the girls from school, make sure I found all the necessary items from the clinic almost a month ago ( where the hell was that hairbow?).  It was all going swimmingly. We were early, baby was comfortably snuggled in his carrier that I was wearing, and all three kids were in good moods. What kind of alternate universe was this? Until I felt it… something warm was on my belly and seeping down my pants. It was a diaper explosion and it wasn’t minor. Nothing like a poop incident to crush your confidence. What I’ve learned from having two kids is that you have to learn to roll with the punches, so I sat there for the game in my poo stained jeans and confidently cheered on my eldest girl on a nice fall evening.

Positive Thought of the Day: Today is the International Day of the Girl. Its mission is “to help galvanize worldwide enthusiasm for goals to better girls’ lives, providing an opportunity for them to show leadership and reach their full potential.”  I firmly believe it’s important for young girls to believe in themselves and be confident in their own skin, and have the confidence to become our future leaders. I am grateful that my children have extremely positive and incredibly strong female role models in their lives and hope this will foster strength in them to be good and do good.

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Life Lessons

Day 22:

When we have one parent night out over the weekend, I  like to balance that with some special family time. This past weekend we also visited a non-profit rescue ranch. This place not only rescues abandoned and neglected animals, they rehabilitate them to be special needs pets. In a mutually beneficial relationship, these rescued animals love on humans with special needs and vice versa. What started as just a family outing turned into some major life lessons on kindness, inclusion, and even death.

We got to visit with bunnies, turkeys, pigs, cats, kittens, dogs, ponies, and one sick calf. Each animal has a story to tell and the rescue encourages you to get to know the animals and their stories. I was admittedly a little nervous when the girls wanted to get into the cages with pitbulls, but they were really the sweetest dogs ever- perhaps a reminder that kindness matters . #2 always talks about becoming a vet one day, so this was also a neat outing to talk about caring for all animals. The next day, we learned that the sick calf didn’t make it through the night which made the girls really sad, and reflective on the fragility of life. I learned some things about dairy farmers- I didn’t know, apparently some dairy farms breed cows to increase milk production of their stock and then abandon the calves. For local friends, I recommend a visit to Safe In Austin.

Positive Thought of the Day: Encouraged that there are kind people in the world, and that they open their homes to show the world their kindness.

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Night Out

Day 21:

Over the weekend, we had our first non-family babysitter watch our three kids ( and two of my cousin’s kids too) so that we could attend an induction ceremony for my mom to a board for Asian  American Networks in  Austin. Third kid (and one that doesn’t mind bottles) makes going out a lot less stressful, not to mention that we have a handful of trustworthy babysitters from years of daycare. The thought of having one person watch 5 kids may seem insane, but there is a concept that I dub ‘The Synergy of Extra Kids’ that makes it work like some sort of magic. This is where having extra kids around to play with your own kids actually makes it easier on the parent or caregiver. The kids entertain each other and you don’t hear the dreaded “mooom” or “daaaad” call every two seconds. This works most optimally at ages 4 and up.

It was a neat ceremony, with many elected city officials in attendance. My mom not only was inducted as a board member, she was also the event planner of the evening.  Our table of family was very proud to support my mom and her extensive service on non-profit boards. Surrounded by all sorts of working men and women that dedicate their time to non-profits always has the effect of making me feel like I am not doing enough, but then I have to remind myself that I have littles at home and that I do participate when I can. There is also something to be said about knowing your limits and ability for commitment that we have to be able to acknowledge and embrace. Discretionary time is valuable and we must choose wisely where we spend it, and for now my commitment to philanthropic causes and boards must be strictly limited to one-time, commitment free opportunities. Pro tip: Attend non-profit, philanthropic events and call it date night to get more bang for your buck. = )

Positive Thought of the Day: Grateful for a friend that utilized the “Synergy of Extra Kids” to entertain her kids and provide some respite for us on this rainy day . It can be hard to find friends willing to take your kiddos and whose kids your kids love to hang out with and you actually love too! Win!

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Celebrations

Day 20:

Today Baby J is four weeks old! We make a pretty big deal about birthdays ( and really anything worth celebrating) in our family. If we could celebrate birthdays for a week, I would. Recently my daughter threw a fit after her birthday about not getting enough presents, which was very much not true. My Cambodian guilt kicked in and I felt the need to help the girls understand how much we have. I found an organization  called Pop Up Birthdays that provides personalized birthday boxes for kids in foster care that may not otherwise get to have a celebration. This allowed us to have a healthy discussion about how some kids don’t even have the means to have parties, much less have gifts. The program requires donors to provide a “party in a box” with a theme of the child’s choosing, party décor, favors, snacks, and a gift that the kid wants, needs, and reads. The girls have already asked to do another box- so we may do them for the months of their birthdays.

Positive Thought of the Day: Having everything we need and its a long weekend with a lot of family time planned!

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On Partnerships

Day 18:

Since its our wedding anniversary, I thought I would reflect on partnerships, marriage, and how we manage our chaotic life. Managing a household with two working parents ( and one that likes to always ensure we have “special side projects” like moving just because, selling a rental property, or insert other non-necessary item here) is difficult and we are far from perfect. Some days are a struggle to even get out of the house, some days we are the worst version of ourselves, and some days it all clicks and goes perfectly. I can’t even fathom what it will be like when I go back to work, but I do know that we will figure it out and do our best because we are in it together. Both Husband and I work together to make sure we get things taken care of, even if sometimes it may be less than ideal ( once  we  The Husband signed up for the fruit tray for a class party but forgot to buy it and bring it in. Frantically rushing to a meeting, I called him and told him to deal with it,  and his solution was to get a fruit tray delivered to the school). For the record, I would have never signed up for the fruit tray (rookie move – always sign up for non-perishables or paper products). Sometimes our spouses may not do things exactly the way we like, but they get the job done. I have to remind myself that I don’t micromanage my team at work, so I shouldn’t feel the need to micromanage the Husband as long as results are achieved. Instead of giving my take on our life- check out The Husband’s tips on how we are attempting to maintain a  50/50 partnership here, if you haven’t seen it already.

Positive Thought of the Day: I am lucky to have a partner that will change diapers, entertain the kids to give me much needed alone time, keep the kitchen counters cleared to keep sane, loves to cook healthy and delicious meals for the family, and on top of all of that is supportive of me and my career. I would not be able to do what  I do without him and for that I am grateful. Happy Anniversary!

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On Bottles and Breastfeeding

Day 16:

Baby is now 3 weeks old. This is the time when research shows it is best to introduce a breastfed baby to a bottle. According to experts, you don’t want to do it too soon because you want to make sure baby has developed good breastfeeding habits or too late and it can be difficult for some babies to adjust. With babies 1 & 2, I followed this rule precisely like a good millennial mom who reads everything on the internet ( just kidding, I’m debatably a millennial and only a good mom sometimes). However, baby #3 had low blood sugar and I was super sick from the anesthesia and couldn’t breastfeed him for several hours so we ended up having to introduce formula and a bottle early on. The nurse seemed nervous to ask if it was okay to supplement with formula. Make sure my baby is getting nutrients that he needs—yes, I’m okay with it.

I breastfed, although not exclusively, with the first two babies for 9 and 6 months. Returning to work and pumping was HARD, even though I wasn’t in heavy travel roles and once I did start travelling again it really impacted my ability to pump regularly. My supply dropped during a trip to Europe when I fried the plug to my pump because I failed to take into account voltage conversion (science in everyday life.. something I try and point out to the girls whenever I can, but apparently failed to consider pre-baby). This was before readily available Amazon and I had no way to get new pump parts in time, so I hand expressed for the remainder of that trip. It is not easy to pump- especially out of the comfort of your house so I commend all moms committed to it. To moms pumping in bathroom stalls, cars, airplanes, cubes, or in other countries with a malfunctioning pump.. I feel you!

While I believe in the benefits of breastfeeding, as a working mom who is set to travel upon my first week returning from leave- I have decided that convenience, two other kids, and a significant career win out over the stress of pumping regularly and keeping up my milk supply which has always been difficult for me. Baby made the decision a little easier since he is a BEAST and wants to nurse non-stop which would have been a deal breaker for this on the go mom. Fortunately, baby switches incredibly easily between bottle and breast and doesn’t seem to have a preference. On the breastfeeding vs formula feeding spectrum, I’ve always been somewhere in between since I supplemented with both but admittedly I’m a little anxious about this decision to discontinue breastfeeding once I return to work. My anxiety isn’t so much around judgement from other mamas (why do we do that?), but maybe my advanced feelings of missing out on the incredible bonding experience between mother and child. Until then, I’ll enjoy breastfeeding as much as I can and attempt to stockpile breastmilk for the next 9 weeks. Unfortunately, this feels like a zero sum game because this guy doesn’t let me save much!

Positive Thought of the Day: Thankful for all the support on the new blog. Am excited to see where this goes. I have lots of ideas for future posts, stay tuned!

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Modern Boss Mama is Born

Day 14:

Today was a big day. I’ve been toying around with the idea of setting up an official blog site and today went ahead and did it. Wasn’t planning on it- but the baby was taking a nice long nap. I woke up this morning and selected a domain name, learned some basics on wordpress, and secured Instagram and email accounts for ModernBossMama. For now, this will be just a place where I document my musings and maternity leave activities but moving forward I plan to delve more deeply into topics I am passionate about related to being a mom and rising leader at work.

Why Modern Boss Mama? Some of the most frequent discussions I have amongst friends and colleagues are around trying to do it all- have a successful career, be present for family, and also try and have some fun in this crazy life. I do believe that you can have it all, but not always all at once as we often have to shift our balance and our perspective. Right now I am taking a little break from the career part and trying to focus on other parts of my pie ( see my work blog Perspective Through Pie) .

To celebrate ModernBossMama, we went out for our first family dinner and I told my eldest daughter who will hereafter be referred to as the Sassy One ( she is 6 going on 16) about it. She totally gets me as the Hubs made some comment and the Sassy One exclaimed in an exasperated tone-“ that’s what mom’s website is about”. Raising strong women ( and now a little man) is something I am mindful of and one day I hope they too will read this blog.

Positive Thought of the Day: Feeling proud that I took an idea from concept to something real.

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Cousin Crew

Day 12:

Today, baby J met his cousin who is one week older for the first time. We are incredibly blessed to have such a tight knit family. These kiddos are growing up with several first and second cousins ( which we don’t even delineate) because they are so close. So far there are 11 cousins in the cousin crew ranging from 11 to 3 weeks old, enough for a soccer/football team! I love that we have this incredibly network of family. To this day, we remain close with my cousins—we spent summers and holidays growing up ( and fighting) together. Hoping this continues throughout their adulthood and will be interesting to see what kind of antics these guys get into. Who will be the responsible one? The rebel? The leader of the pack?

Having family close by also means that we have an incredible support system. This is really important for work travel ( omg, how are we going to handle it with three kids), travel for fun ( which we don’t do enough of), and date night.

Positive Thought of the Day: Loving how tight knit the cousin crew is.s.

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Lunch Date

Day 9:

Pretty dreary day, highlight of the day was a date lunch to try out a Ramen spot ( a perfect rainy day food) that I have been wanting to try with the Husband. Dates with your significant other are really important though, and since Hubs is returning to work soon I thought it would be good to get out together. We try and get out for a date night and try out new restaurants when we can, hopefully we can keep that up with three! This was also baby’s first meal out and he slept the entire time. I could get used to this.. but I know it will change soon.

Positive Thought of the Day: trying to enjoy the last of Hubs Paternity Leave and take full advantage. Also-  we caught up on cleaning and laundry ( for a hot second) and it’s feeling like fall weather- football, rain, and pumpkins. My favorite season!

Image result for ramen noodle images

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Walkabout

Day 8:

Took our first outing to Target today. The ride was a bit painful, but baby was great. He mostly slept in the car and in the store. Keeping my fingers crossed he will continue to be an easy baby, because his sisters were NOT. I would not have even been able to contemplate starting a blog project with them. Not sure if it’s because he’s the third and this is now just old hat and I am more relaxed or if its different because of his temperament or because he’s a boy.

Target outing was a success- I used the Cartwheel app in store for the first time and saved money on diapers. Couponing gives me such a sense of accomplishment. As a young child, I literally clipped coupons every Sunday morning out of the NEWSPAPER.. guess you could say I have always been an old soul.  Now, before any online purchase I will always google for promotion codes. Today, we saved $13 in stores using the Cartwheel app, got a $20 giftcard for buying $100 worth of diapers and turned in an expired carseat in the Target carseat event and received a 20% off coupon (worth almost $40). Score!  Yes, this boss mom still loves a good deal.

Positive Thought of the Day: I am moving very slowly, but I’m up and out just 10 days out from surgery. We forget sometimes the little things we take for granted- like our health. Counting the small blessings in life.

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