Category: Family

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Chasing Time

Here I am 28 days into 2019, and back at the work like it ain’t no thing. Except it is a thing. A really, really hard thing. There aren’t enough hours in the day, everyone is demanding, and I often forget or don’t have time to go to the restroom. But I wouldn’t trade being a working mom of these kiddos for anything.. except maybe being really, really ridiculously rich AND happy with the same fulfillment that my career gives me. Here are some tips and tricks I’ve picked up along the way that is helping me find some extra time in the day:

It’s okay to pay a premium for convenience. Instacart is one of my best friends. So far I’ve placed Instacart orders that have saved me upwards of 80 hours ( that’s like two work weeks, two weeks of vacation!) and the grocery fairy delivers to my doorstep. And best of all, I order while pumping so I’m also multi-tasking while order. Win-win.

A cleaning service is a MUST. I don’t need to spend precious family time being angry about the house not being clean or worse yet, actually cleaning. While I still clean some thing like the fridge, countertops, and the floors ( why, oh why are my floors always so dirty) as my mother in law says- “Paying to get your house cleaned is cheaper than therapy.”

House Rules When in town, work dinners are reserved for top tier meetings only. I may show face a bit for a drink, but I always am home to say good night and typically well before that if I adhere to my in-town dinner criteria.

Workout at work We have a small gym at work and free yoga classes are offered every single day. If I can sneak in a workout during the day either during lunch or end of day, even if for only 30 minutes without an additional commute, that’s another win. I still get home at a reasonable hour with slightly more calories burned and endorphins released.

Mobile Meetings My teams knows that the best time to catch me is in the car on either my commute into the office or home. If I can touch base with people in the time that I am driving (about an hour a day), it saves me an hour during “normal hours”. Safely and hands free of course.

One day, I’ll get wake up an hour earlier than everyone else at home to fully exploit the “magic hour”, but while the baby is challenging me in the sleep department currently, we’ll just have to call that one potential upside. What are your tips and tricks to get the most out of your day?

Positive Thought of the Day:  The husband took the girls to gymnastics, leaving me home with a very sleepy baby and I got a minute to catch up on chores and work and actually eat a non-rushed dinner at home. The extra hour was nice  (I really do enjoy cleaning and eating without distraction) and appreciated!  

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Year in Review and Resolutions

Every NYE, I join the masses in reflection on the year and making resolutions that I will strive to keep. As a high achiever, I carefully select my goals for the year so that I can check them off- of course. 2018 goals were simple since I found out I was pregnant: take care of myself and enjoy time with those I love, with a side of continuing to kick ass at work.

I give us a solid “A” performance for the year. We had a healthy and abundant year filled with love and lots of time with family and friends. An epic camping trip with neighbors, our first family spring break trip to Disneyland and Legoland, a HOT family camping trip, the selling of our first home in Philly, the elimination of almost all Ikea from our house (except the girls room), completion of several house projects, the addition of our chubby bundle of joy to the world, stronger relationship with family and friends, creation of this blog, and a maternity leave focused on my intentions for the year. It was also an excellent work year. Whew. Not sure how to top that for next year, but I will try!

2019 Resolutions:

Give myself permission to not uphold myself to impossible standards Self-imposed requirements of perfection only leave me irritable and don’t demonstrate good behaviors and habits for the kids (and they are always watching now). Know when good enough is good enough and when any more only results in diminishing returns and grumpiness.

Find new ways to give to the world. In 2018, I gave up my position on a board and  leadership responsibility for our women’s network at work to focus on pregnancy and baby. Letting go of leadership responsibility is freeing up some time for me to give to another cause or organization TBD.

Continue to focus on family and love My family centers me and grounds me. I work like fiend during the week to have untethered and focused time with them on the weekends whenever possible. It’s a constant for me that I just want to continue to pen, just to remind myself when I forget.

Declutter what doesn’t make me happy I’ve spent a lot of time this year purging boxes, drawers, closets. I’m on my second round of purging in the last four months and it feels GOOD. I’ve just done a purge of sheets, bedding, clothes, pantry. I want to keep this up into next year because clutter also inhibits precious discretionary time that is better used for things that I value. This also goes for toxic people and relationships- my mindshare and well-being is better off without the drama.

Notice that none of these are directly financially or career related. Earlier this year I attended a talk where author Shawn Achor postulated that the key to success is attained by focus on happiness first. Therefore, my goals for this year are centered around personal happiness and we’ll see where that takes us in 2019! Happy New Year to all!

Positive Thought of the Day: My heart is full after reflection on a great year, a wonderful day spend with and old friend, and looking forward to a fun filled NYE party where I only have to walk across the street.

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Family Time

Day 41:

What a whirlwind weekend of family time. My brother, sister in law, and three nephews were in town this weekend and we had brunch at my house, followed by time at my cousin’s new house on the river. I’m mentally counting around 16 kids that were present ( four under one year old). This was followed by another dinner at my other cousins (this time only with 9 kiddos), and lunch at my aunts on Sunday. It’s interesting to observe these kids play, converse, and also mimic their parents neuroses ( like when #1 can’t handle our labeled toy bins getting mixed up or the play room getting too messy). Despite all this family time, I was unable to catch one photo of all of them together… Thanksgiving goals.

Positive Thought of the Day: Today was a rough one as baby decided he really wanted to be close today, making it difficult for me to put him down or do much with my hands. Like last Monday, we spent most of the day snuggling. I’d like to believe that it’s because on the weekends he has to share me with his sisters so he wants to take advantage of our one on one time.  Enjoying the slow, snuggle day after the crazy weekend.

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Career Navigation

Day 40:

Been posting a bunch on family, balance, and non-work related items but I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the importance of navigating your own career ( this is modern boss mama for a reason). With more idle time for my brain, I’ve been really thinking about what I want to do with my career. Despite being pregnant this year, I have had some great discussions about potential opportunities.

I made it into the office this week with baby in tow, to show my face and my commitment to work (had been hearing some rumors that people thought I might not return) and also had a quick discussion with my boss about my intentions and career goals once I return. Several years ago, I would not have had the confidence to have this conversation (much less while on maternity leave) but it was healthy and positive. I give many people I mentor this bit of advice and thought it only fitting I should listen to my own advice- the only real person responsible for navigating your career is you. You may have sponsors, advocates, and mentors but they need your direction and input into helping you but you have to be vocal about what you want/need.

Positive Thought of the Day: Another fun filled and amazing weather weekend to look forward to!

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Halloween

Day 38

I find that there are generally two types of people- those who love Halloween and those who don’t. I am one of the latter, although I hold no judgement for the former. Generally, I run high on stress so added stress with little return isn’t high on my list. And don’t get me started on costumes.. But for these kids, I’ll embrace the hocus pocus and make sure they enjoy this silly little holiday.

Since I have a little more free time while on maternity leave, I was able to make little treat bags for #2’s class, attend a parade at #1s school, AND  make it to the daycare parade for both. Last year, I totally missed the character book parade at #1s school ( not just missed attending- we didn’t even realize she was supposed to dress up) so I would consider this a win.

We have started reading Harry Potter so #1 decided to go as Hermione since she already had the curly hair down. Who knew this would be such a popular book character as there were no less than 35 kids dressed up in Gryffondor attire. But since the robe was so cool, #2 also decided she wanted to be a Hogwarts student so then we HAD to get another robe… and this is why I hate Halloween. Gone are the days when kids are just one thing for Halloween since there are so many events to attend. Well the jokes on you girls, because although I may seem like the sucker… you guys and the little one too will be some version of Harry Potter character until it doesn’t fit anymore (there are a ton of Gryffondor students to choose from, or we could mash up Harry Potter and zombies.. the possibilities are endless, right?)

Positive Thought of the Day: For the second Halloween in a row, it was pretty much a rain-out. We did manage to host a little cousin pizza party and get in about 30 minutes of trick or treating. Limited trick or treating means a more appropriate amount of candy, more reasonable bed time, and less sugar hangover the next day. I’ll take it!

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Moms Who Lunch

Day 37:

We got to spend today with another special mom on maternity leave – my cousin and her adorable mini-me and toddler. Before lunch we had a moment in the Barnes and Noble bathroom that would have really stressed out the pre-third baby version of myself.

Imagine this scene:  Baby J was screaming his head off on the changing table as yet again he blew out his diaper.  Poop.was.everywhere. My cousin’s daughter was screaming in her stroller while my cousin was helping her toddler who was touching everything while in the bathroom stall.  It was chaos. An older woman entered the bathroom circus, sidestepping the stroller ( we had taken up the entire bathroom) and kindly told us that these days go by fast ( see previous post).

After the cacophony, I popped baby back in the carrier and browsed books while he nursed and we then enjoyed a SIT DOWN lunch ( with appetizers and all) while both babies napped peacefully and we enjoyed adult conversation. My mom even popped by and joined us for lunch.  It was loud and a little messy to start but it really was a good day.

Positive Thought of the Day: Thankful that baby J is an overall easygoing baby who doesn’t mind car rides so that we can continue going on adventures together. Continuing to enjoy the life’s moments.

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Enjoying the Moments

Day 36:

It was another busy whirlwind weekend filled with events and outdoor time ( Trunk or Treat, Friday Night Lights, parks and a fall festival with the kids) as the sun finally came out for us Texans. There is nothing more perfect to me than nice cool weather when the sun is shining. We took full advantage this past weekend and even snuck in some adult time downtown.

So this Monday, I spent the day focused on time with baby without even getting out of our jammies. Even though I still have 5 weeks left of maternity leave, I am starting to get anxious because time is literally flying by and the baby is changing daily. It’s amazing to me how I can go to work and up to  6 or 7 meetings a day, and a 30 minute meeting can sometimes seems to last forever, but when I’m at home the day flies by. Besides snuggling, feeding, and changing the baby—the only other things we did today were laundry (this is a daily event, take a beautiful morning walk, and a little catch up on some guilty pleasure television). It was a perfect day.

Positive Thought of the Day: That I am still at home with baby, as many women would have had to return to work by now.

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Crazy Hair Day

Day 34

I picture a modern boss mom with a sleek haircut, perfectly maintained to go with her on point OOTD. When I was living in Philly, city living and single- I had a hair guy ( shoutout to Bill at Aqua) that all my coworker friends frequented, and I went to him religiously. Those days are long gone. The reality of this modern boss mom is that I get my haircut roughly semi-annually, colored when my roots are out of control, am currently somewhat in denial about the grays that are starting to peak their way through, and only just recently learned how to use a flat iron to curl my hair.

While I normally barely spend anytime on my own hair, this morning I spent a disproportionate amount of time perfecting a spider in #1’s hair for Crazy Hair Day (still not sure how it relates to Red Ribbon Week, but okay).

Somedays, I can’t keep up with all the school stuff ( character book parade, wear orange it’s the Katie the cats birthday, 50’s dress up day- um no, college shirts, crazy socks, Seuss characters) but someday you just nail it with a spider do and get my own hair done too!

Positive Thought of the Day: My mom watched the baby so I could get my hair done, which also means coming home to a clean house!

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Lets Make Fall Great Again

Day 33:

Another dreary, rainy day here. Perfect for snuggling and recovering from travel, busy weekend, and a golf tournament. I did take a quick trip out to walk around Michael’s because I was contemplating putting together a gallery wall, got quickly overwhelmed, and instead snagged 70% off Thanksgiving stuff. Let’s talk about this for a second, it’s not even Halloween- how is the Thanksgiving stuff already on clearance!? As a society, I feel we have a hard time living in the moment and want to also celebrate three months of Christmas. I find Christmas stressful with all the events, presents, and expectations and want to enjoy the fall- dangit! I was incredibly excited to find that I was going to have my maternity leave during my favorite season of the year. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that we picked up a 5th season- Rain! Due to the rain and flooding we’ve had to cancel our annual fall camping trip. I want  cool temps ( without rain) and all things orange and pumpkin.

Positive Thought of the Day: Pumpkin Spice Latte. No other explanation required.

 

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Work Travel Part 2

Day 28- 29:

I traveled for work this past week for a meeting of all the leaders in my company. Yes, I voluntarily chose to take time away from my newborn and participate in an executive level meeting that was good for my career. There are many who may judge me for this, and I even second guessed myself once or twice. Many have asked- and yes, I believe it was worth it.

First, as I mentioned before my support system is incredible and I had zero concerns with leaving baby with my husband. On a side note, it was amazing to me how many men asked me or just assumed that it was “grandma” watching the baby. Don’t forget I am married to a boss dad, too! My two biggest concerns in preparation for this meeting were the health of myself and baby ( in which case I would have cancelled) and his ability to take a bottle ( which has been a non-issue), so I went into the meeting with zero qualms about the baby.

Almost halfway through maternity leave, I felt like I was experiencing some brain atrophy from lack of use of my dura matter. The meeting jumpstarted my brain a bit and got my neurons firing again. Selfishly, it was a good awakening of my almost dormant career thoughts during my leave as much of the networking involved conversations about future roles, career, and overall company direction. I believe attending the meeting allowed others to see me as a strong and committed (I mean, I did attend while after just having a baby, via C-section no less) and gave me a peak into executive leadership at my company which was a great learning experience.

Yes, I missed snuggling baby and having our special time together, so I ate/drank those feelings with room service and a few drinks at the hotel bar. Joking aside, the meeting also gave me a new appreciation for the time left with baby and I will continue to make the most of it while I can as I have plenty of time to work when I return.

Positive Thought of the Day: Direct flights that minimize my time away from the family. These are few and far between for us, so it was nice to only have to spend one night away from the family but be in meetings for two days.

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