Category: Balance

Posted on

Chasing Time

Here I am 28 days into 2019, and back at the work like it ain’t no thing. Except it is a thing. A really, really hard thing. There aren’t enough hours in the day, everyone is demanding, and I often forget or don’t have time to go to the restroom. But I wouldn’t trade being a working mom of these kiddos for anything.. except maybe being really, really ridiculously rich AND happy with the same fulfillment that my career gives me. Here are some tips and tricks I’ve picked up along the way that is helping me find some extra time in the day:

It’s okay to pay a premium for convenience. Instacart is one of my best friends. So far I’ve placed Instacart orders that have saved me upwards of 80 hours ( that’s like two work weeks, two weeks of vacation!) and the grocery fairy delivers to my doorstep. And best of all, I order while pumping so I’m also multi-tasking while order. Win-win.

A cleaning service is a MUST. I don’t need to spend precious family time being angry about the house not being clean or worse yet, actually cleaning. While I still clean some thing like the fridge, countertops, and the floors ( why, oh why are my floors always so dirty) as my mother in law says- “Paying to get your house cleaned is cheaper than therapy.”

House Rules When in town, work dinners are reserved for top tier meetings only. I may show face a bit for a drink, but I always am home to say good night and typically well before that if I adhere to my in-town dinner criteria.

Workout at work We have a small gym at work and free yoga classes are offered every single day. If I can sneak in a workout during the day either during lunch or end of day, even if for only 30 minutes without an additional commute, that’s another win. I still get home at a reasonable hour with slightly more calories burned and endorphins released.

Mobile Meetings My teams knows that the best time to catch me is in the car on either my commute into the office or home. If I can touch base with people in the time that I am driving (about an hour a day), it saves me an hour during “normal hours”. Safely and hands free of course.

One day, I’ll get wake up an hour earlier than everyone else at home to fully exploit the “magic hour”, but while the baby is challenging me in the sleep department currently, we’ll just have to call that one potential upside. What are your tips and tricks to get the most out of your day?

Positive Thought of the Day:  The husband took the girls to gymnastics, leaving me home with a very sleepy baby and I got a minute to catch up on chores and work and actually eat a non-rushed dinner at home. The extra hour was nice  (I really do enjoy cleaning and eating without distraction) and appreciated!  

Posted on

Year in Review and Resolutions

Every NYE, I join the masses in reflection on the year and making resolutions that I will strive to keep. As a high achiever, I carefully select my goals for the year so that I can check them off- of course. 2018 goals were simple since I found out I was pregnant: take care of myself and enjoy time with those I love, with a side of continuing to kick ass at work.

I give us a solid “A” performance for the year. We had a healthy and abundant year filled with love and lots of time with family and friends. An epic camping trip with neighbors, our first family spring break trip to Disneyland and Legoland, a HOT family camping trip, the selling of our first home in Philly, the elimination of almost all Ikea from our house (except the girls room), completion of several house projects, the addition of our chubby bundle of joy to the world, stronger relationship with family and friends, creation of this blog, and a maternity leave focused on my intentions for the year. It was also an excellent work year. Whew. Not sure how to top that for next year, but I will try!

2019 Resolutions:

Give myself permission to not uphold myself to impossible standards Self-imposed requirements of perfection only leave me irritable and don’t demonstrate good behaviors and habits for the kids (and they are always watching now). Know when good enough is good enough and when any more only results in diminishing returns and grumpiness.

Find new ways to give to the world. In 2018, I gave up my position on a board and  leadership responsibility for our women’s network at work to focus on pregnancy and baby. Letting go of leadership responsibility is freeing up some time for me to give to another cause or organization TBD.

Continue to focus on family and love My family centers me and grounds me. I work like fiend during the week to have untethered and focused time with them on the weekends whenever possible. It’s a constant for me that I just want to continue to pen, just to remind myself when I forget.

Declutter what doesn’t make me happy I’ve spent a lot of time this year purging boxes, drawers, closets. I’m on my second round of purging in the last four months and it feels GOOD. I’ve just done a purge of sheets, bedding, clothes, pantry. I want to keep this up into next year because clutter also inhibits precious discretionary time that is better used for things that I value. This also goes for toxic people and relationships- my mindshare and well-being is better off without the drama.

Notice that none of these are directly financially or career related. Earlier this year I attended a talk where author Shawn Achor postulated that the key to success is attained by focus on happiness first. Therefore, my goals for this year are centered around personal happiness and we’ll see where that takes us in 2019! Happy New Year to all!

Positive Thought of the Day: My heart is full after reflection on a great year, a wonderful day spend with and old friend, and looking forward to a fun filled NYE party where I only have to walk across the street.

Posted on

Mommy and Me Workout

Day 39

I’m done with having babies, and therefore no excuses not to get back into shape. I plan to figure out a routine that will work once I go back to work but for the next few weeks I need to  focus on only one thing- starting. I am walking almost daily, but need to up the calorie burn, especially since I plan to wean off the breastfeeding by the end of the year and won’t be able to count on the passive exercise/diet of milk production. And mostly because I am HUNGRY all the time since I’m breastfeeding. I mean ALL THE TIME. I am pretty sure I am eating more now than I was while pregnant.

So today I tried a mommy and me workout class… except it was just me. No other mommies and my baby was passed out the entire time. It felt like an awkward date (much like when you meet a new mom friend for the first time). The instructor and I got to know each other between planks, lunges, squats, and tri dips. It was an intense work out for the first real activity post baby but it felt good to get out there. I’m not sure if this is the class for me, but the ability to have the baby with me right now is great.

Positive Thought of the Day: Downtown double date night with friends. Although we live way out in the suburbs, I try not to let that get in the way of checking out new restaurants and socializing. We were able to use one of our favorite sitters tonight and got a much-needed night out.

Posted on

Golf

Day 25:

I was supposed to play in our annual fun play golf tournament tomorrow, but ended up bailing once I realized even though you can be cleared for exercise around six weeks, a full 18 holes of golf just isn’t wise. A few weeks ago I googled- “how long after a C-section can you play golf” and the results were disappointing. The hits I received were all about MEN playing golf after their wives C-sections and no results on my actual query. Don’t get me wrong, I am no Michelle Wie.. I just wanted to get in a few rounds before going back to work but it made me want to share some of my experiences with golf.

I wish I started earlier.  I should have listened to my dad (are you following, Dad?), but being a moody teenager I wanted to do the exact opposite of what my parents recommended. I did dabble a little bit in high school and college, but had I kept up with it I would be a much better player today.

Be vocal about wanting to play. Let people know you play and would like to join in on leagues or tournaments. Once I started making it known that I played, I started to get more invitations. Many are VPs of my company and the thing is- I’m not good at all. I am just sure to not slow people down and try and play with people of the same philosophy- fun and friendly competition.

Stop worrying about people judging you ( unless you are a really slow player,  in which case I am totally judging you- I don’t have time for that and your shot isn’t getting that much better with all your practice swings). I used to not want to golf because I didn’t want coworkers to see me in a vulnerable state and I used to get really nervous about golfing with people in higher positions. But you know what, as much as you are worried about your game, they are just as worried about theirs. This is just a good rule in life, own your game and worry about you.

And my personal favorite ( anything that can allow me to effectively multi-task):

Golfing means less office work and more exercise. Who doesn’t want that? I tend to only want to golf during the week, and not on weekends because weekends are primarily family time. Making golf a part of business, means I can multi-task- get work done, get out of the office which is always good,  often catch up with friends, and have the added bonus of health benefits. Win-win-win!

Positive Thought of the Day: I am playing in a fundraising golf tournament at the end of this month and very much looking to enjoying my favorite Texas season and getting in a bit of a workout. Also, Spring Break vacay is booked !

 

Posted on

On Partnerships

Day 18:

Since its our wedding anniversary, I thought I would reflect on partnerships, marriage, and how we manage our chaotic life. Managing a household with two working parents ( and one that likes to always ensure we have “special side projects” like moving just because, selling a rental property, or insert other non-necessary item here) is difficult and we are far from perfect. Some days are a struggle to even get out of the house, some days we are the worst version of ourselves, and some days it all clicks and goes perfectly. I can’t even fathom what it will be like when I go back to work, but I do know that we will figure it out and do our best because we are in it together. Both Husband and I work together to make sure we get things taken care of, even if sometimes it may be less than ideal ( once  we  The Husband signed up for the fruit tray for a class party but forgot to buy it and bring it in. Frantically rushing to a meeting, I called him and told him to deal with it,  and his solution was to get a fruit tray delivered to the school). For the record, I would have never signed up for the fruit tray (rookie move – always sign up for non-perishables or paper products). Sometimes our spouses may not do things exactly the way we like, but they get the job done. I have to remind myself that I don’t micromanage my team at work, so I shouldn’t feel the need to micromanage the Husband as long as results are achieved. Instead of giving my take on our life- check out The Husband’s tips on how we are attempting to maintain a  50/50 partnership here, if you haven’t seen it already.

Positive Thought of the Day: I am lucky to have a partner that will change diapers, entertain the kids to give me much needed alone time, keep the kitchen counters cleared to keep sane, loves to cook healthy and delicious meals for the family, and on top of all of that is supportive of me and my career. I would not be able to do what  I do without him and for that I am grateful. Happy Anniversary!

Posted on

The Paradox of Choice

Day 17:

The Paradox of Choice is the idea that too many choices can be debilitating or often lead to indecision. Do you know how to combat indecision? Have a kid ( or two or three or enter any other extremely chaotic and demanding thing needing your attention here) and give up the luxury of time to fret over decisions. Today I was faced with selecting a pair of glasses. The engineer in me wanted to do a ton of research, figure out the best frames for my shape of face, try them all on, compare prices online, and make a spreadsheet to compare all the options. The reality of the situation is that my clock was ticking since I fed the baby more than 3 hours before and had about 15 minutes to make a choice and get out of there or I was going potentially soak my shirt. With my liquid gold on the line, I tried on as many frames as I could, decided to not worry about the cost, and made a quick decision. I probably would not have been too hasty, except the reality of the situation is that I only use these glasses for night time wear and no one ever sees them, so the risk of buyers remorse was low.

I can draw a parallel to this in the workplace- when I have the luxury of time I will use it and often overanalyze and have trouble making a quick decision. Don’t get me started with how I plan my travel to make sure  it is “optimized” for cost, time, and my preferred airlines. However, when I am crunched for time or have too many important decisions to make it’s fairly simple for me to prioritize which decisions are important versus those of lesser importance and spend time accordingly. Barry Schwartz, author of the ‘Paradox of Choice’ stipulates that people need to become more comfortable with the concept of “good enough” and I completely agree. When faced with tough decisions, I often ask myself what level of effort will be good enough to give me an outcome that I can be satisfied with. Today, it was 15 minutes for a pair of glasses I wear for less than 4 hours a week and I’m satisfied with my decision.

Positive Thought of the Day: Today we celebrated National Night Out with our neighbors, we had a fantastic turnout. We are so lucky that the kids (and the Husband and I) have neighbors that they can call friends. Added bonus, just found out about Wine Down night and will be joining in this month and meeting some new neighbor friends!

Posted on

Modern Boss Mama is Born

Day 14:

Today was a big day. I’ve been toying around with the idea of setting up an official blog site and today went ahead and did it. Wasn’t planning on it- but the baby was taking a nice long nap. I woke up this morning and selected a domain name, learned some basics on wordpress, and secured Instagram and email accounts for ModernBossMama. For now, this will be just a place where I document my musings and maternity leave activities but moving forward I plan to delve more deeply into topics I am passionate about related to being a mom and rising leader at work.

Why Modern Boss Mama? Some of the most frequent discussions I have amongst friends and colleagues are around trying to do it all- have a successful career, be present for family, and also try and have some fun in this crazy life. I do believe that you can have it all, but not always all at once as we often have to shift our balance and our perspective. Right now I am taking a little break from the career part and trying to focus on other parts of my pie ( see my work blog Perspective Through Pie) .

To celebrate ModernBossMama, we went out for our first family dinner and I told my eldest daughter who will hereafter be referred to as the Sassy One ( she is 6 going on 16) about it. She totally gets me as the Hubs made some comment and the Sassy One exclaimed in an exasperated tone-“ that’s what mom’s website is about”. Raising strong women ( and now a little man) is something I am mindful of and one day I hope they too will read this blog.

Positive Thought of the Day: Feeling proud that I took an idea from concept to something real.

Posted on

Self Care

Day 13:

Spent the day on the phone, scheduling a variety of appointments I had been remiss on.

I haven’t been to the dentist or eye doctor in almost two years as work travel and the pregnancy made it difficult to make the time take care of me. Not too long ago, I cancelled an appointment day of because I was sitting on a plane ready to take off and forgot I was supposed to be at the dentist. It was already hard enough to go to all of my prenatal appointments, not to mention I had extra appointments because of my high blood pressure and ‘advanced maternal age’, but really there should be no excuse for taking care of ourselves.  It doesn’t have to be all boring or as traumatic as the dentist- taking care of ourselves can also be enjoyable. Today, I  also made an appointment for a facial, eyebrow wax, and a haircut.  Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury and something I spoke about at a conference last year. We working moms ( alright, all moms or maybe even all humans) need to pay attention to our bodies and take care of ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves for the people that rely on us.

Positive Thought of the Day: Looking forward to some self care next week!

Image result for self care

Posted on

Inspiration

Day 11:

Hubs is back at work and today was the first day alone with the baby. We had a dr visit and he weighed in at almost 10 lbs (big boy)! I then took a little excursion to a friends newly opened store and the grocery store. J was good most of the trip, but I was reminded how difficult it is to travel with a newborn (and only one set of hands). We had to change diapers and feed twice in a two and half hour outing and he cried the last ten minutes in the car, which seemed like an an eternity.

I found some neat items at Honey & Hay that really resonated with me. One is the Giving Key, which is about embracing the word on the key and passing it along to someone who needs it more. The company that makes it employs the homeless so- BONUS it’s for a great cause. The word that called to me was inspire. I’ve been feeling inspired lately ( hello, blog and surrounding myself with inspirational people) and will be passing it along to a dear friend soon. I also bought this mantra band because balance is so important to me (as you will see it mentioned many times throughout my writings, already).

Positive Thought of the Day: Excited for my friend’s new store and all my friends pursuing their dreams.

 

Posted on

Lunch Date

Day 9:

Pretty dreary day, highlight of the day was a date lunch to try out a Ramen spot ( a perfect rainy day food) that I have been wanting to try with the Husband. Dates with your significant other are really important though, and since Hubs is returning to work soon I thought it would be good to get out together. We try and get out for a date night and try out new restaurants when we can, hopefully we can keep that up with three! This was also baby’s first meal out and he slept the entire time. I could get used to this.. but I know it will change soon.

Positive Thought of the Day: trying to enjoy the last of Hubs Paternity Leave and take full advantage. Also-  we caught up on cleaning and laundry ( for a hot second) and it’s feeling like fall weather- football, rain, and pumpkins. My favorite season!

Image result for ramen noodle images

Proudly powered by WordPress